Welcome to the Real World...

Речь о тех временах, когда русскоговорящих интервьюеров в израильских военкоматах еще не было, а русские призывники уже были. Из-за того, что они в большинстве своем плохо владели ивритом, девочки-интервьюеры часто посылали их на проверку к так называемым "офицерам душевного здоровья"
(по специальности - психологам или социальным работникам), чтобы те на всякий случай проверяли, все ли в порядке у неразговорчивого призывника.
Кстати, офицер душевного здоровья - "кцин бриют нефеш" - сокращенно на иврите называется "кабан". Хотя к его профессиональным качествам это, конечно же, отношения не имеет.
Офицер душевного здоровья в военкомате обычно проводит стандартные тесты - "нарисуй человека, нарисуй дерево, нарисуй дом". По этим тестам можно с легкостью исследовать внутренний мир будущего военнослужащего. В них ведь что хорошо - они универсальные и не зависят от знания языка. Уж дом-то все способны нарисовать. И вот к одному офицеру прислали очередного русского мальчика, плохо говорящего на иврите. Офицер душевного здоровья поздоровался с ним, придвинул лист бумаги и попросил нарисовать дерево.
Русский мальчик плохо рисовал, зато был начитанным. Он решил скомпенсировать недостаток художественных способностей количеством деталей. Поэтому изобразил дуб, на дубе - цепь, а на цепи - кота.
Понятно, да?
Офицер душевного здоровья придвинул лист к себе. На листе была изображена козявка, не очень ловко повесившаяся на ветке. В качестве веревки козявка использовала цепочку.
- Это что? - ласково спросил кабан.
Русский мальчик напрягся и стал переводить. Кот на иврите - "хатуль".
"Ученый" - мад'ан, с русским акцентом - "мадан". Мальчик не знал, что в данном случае слово "ученый" звучало бы иначе - кот не является служащим академии наук, а просто много знает, то есть слово нужно другое. Но другое не получилось. Мальчик почесал в затылке и ответил на вопрос офицера:
- Хатуль мадан.
Офицер был израильтянином. Поэтому приведенное словосочетание значило для него что-то вроде "кот, занимающийся научной деятельностью". Хатуль мадан. Почему козявка, повесившаяся на дереве, занимается научной деятельностью, и в чем заключается эта научная деятельность, офицер понять не мог.
- А что он делает? - напряженно спросил офицер.
(Изображение самоубийства в проективном тесте вообще очень плохой признак).
- А это смотря когда, - обрадовался мальчик возможности блеснуть интеллектом. - Вот если идет вот сюда (от козявки в правую сторону возникла стрелочка), то поет песни. А если сюда (стрелочка последовала налево), то рассказывает сказки.
- Кому? - прослезился кабан.
Мальчик постарался и вспомнил:
- Сам себе.
На сказках, которые рассказывает сама себе повешенная козявка, офицер душевного здоровья почувствовал себя нездоровым. Он назначил с мальчиком еще одно интервью и отпустил его домой. Картинка с дубом осталась на столе.
Когда мальчик ушел, кабан позвал к себе секретаршу - ему хотелось свежего взгляда на ситуацию.
Секретарша офицера душевного здоровья была умная адекватная девочка.
Но она тоже недавно приехала из России.
Босс показал ей картинку. Девочка увидела на картинке дерево с резными листьями и животное типа кошка, идущее по цепи.
- Как ты думаешь, это что? - спросил офицер.
- Хатуль мадан, - ответила секретарша.
Спешно выставив девочку и выпив холодной воды, кабан позвонил на соседний этаж, где работала его молодая коллега. Попросил спуститься проконсультировать сложный случай.
- Вот, - вздохнул усталый профессионал. - Я тебя давно знаю, ты нормальный человек. Объясни мне пожалуйста, что здесь изображено?
Проблема в том, что коллега тоже была из России...
Но тут уже кабан решил не отступать.
- Почему? - тихо, но страстно спросил он свою коллегу. - ПОЧЕМУ вот это - хатуль мадан?
- Так это же очевидно! - коллега ткнула пальцем в рисунок, - Видишь эти стрелочки? Они означают, что, когда хатуль идет направо, он поет. А когда налево...
Не могу сказать, сошел ли с ума армейский психолог и какой диагноз поставили мальчику. Но сегодня уже почти все офицеры душевного здоровья знают: если призывник на тесте рисует дубы с животными на цепочках, значит, он из России. Там, говорят, все образованные. Даже кошки.

Прочитал на сайте такую историю - уж очень понравилось:

В суд пришло дело по ДТП с участием автомобиля Лендровер (под управлением некой Моверлик Натальи Юльевны) и коровы. Эта дама написала претензию о возмещении материального ущерба внешнему управляющему птицефабрики, которая является собственником стада.
Ответ даме достоин высшей юридической похвалы и литературной премии!!
- ОАО Ново-Петровская птицефабрика Внешний управляющий Село Ново-Петровское, Истринский район. Московская область Почтовый адрес: 129281, г. Москва, Староватутинский проезд, д. 17, офис 6 Телефон: 472-18-44, 472-24-92, 472-73-18, 472-81-58 Исх. ╧ 257 от 26 июня 2001г.
Владельцу Лендровера госпоже Моверлик Н. Ю.
Уважаемая Наталья Юльевна!
С интересом ознакомился с Вашим заявлением и приложенными к нему документами.
Был бы готов принести извинения за ДТП, которое произошло по моей вине, но воздержусь от этого, поскольку никакой вины за собой не ощущаю.
Более того, не исключено, что принадлежащее Вам транспортное средство, являющееся источником повышенной опасности, использовалось Вами как орудие убийства невинной коровы (радуйтесь, что это произошло не в Индии, где корова является священным животным).
Из материалов, которые Вы прислали, не следует, что вина была моя, то есть корова, действуя по моему прямому указанию, приняла мученическую смерть с целью нанесения Вам крупного материального ущерба.
Я даже не был знаком с безвременно ушедшей, следовательно, указаний ей давать не мог.
На мой взгляд, более логичным представляется иное объяснение: водитель, не соблюдая скоростной режим и не руководствуясь ни здравым смыслом, ни водительским опытом, ни правилами дорожного движения, не принял должных мер предосторожности и не сделал все от него зависящее, чтобы избежать дорожно-транспортного происшествия. Обычно водители снижают скорость, издали, завидев пасущийся у обочины скот (особенно, если он крупный и рогатый).
Поскольку объяснения водителя и коровы в материалах отсутствуют, мне трудно поверить, что корова, замаскировавшись в придорожном кустарнике, хладнокровно дожидалась в засаде приближения принадлежащего Вам автомобиля, и выскочила на дорогу в последний момент.
Готов представить в суд документы, подтверждающие, что покойная не проходила специальной подготовки, и вообще характеризовалась как добродушное, медлительное и незлобивое существо. Склонностей к суициду или терроризму не отмечалось, личных неприязненных отношений к автомобилям Лендровер не усматривалось. В быту вела себя правильно.
В производственных показателях мученицы были отдельные недостатки, но Вы же понимаете о мертвых или хорошо, или никак.
Таким образом, от добровольного взятия на себя отсутствующей вины и возмещения Вам причиненного (водителем?) ущерба, как Вы понимаете, я воздержусь.
Прошу не рассматривать это как отказ от добровольного исполнения обязательств в указанный срок, поскольку и наличие обязательств и десятидневный срок являются заблуждениями Ваших адвокатов, дальнейшие расходы на которых не представляются целесообразными. Обращение к внешнему управляющему уже говорит любому грамотному юристу о том, что имущественные требования к должнику предъявляются не в рамках гражданского или иного судопроизводства, а в соответствии с ФЗ о несостоятельности (банкротстве).
Как только Вы заявите требования в соответствии с этим Законом, они будут рассмотрены в установленный Законом (а не Вами) срок.
Дополнительно информирую, что поскольку ни моей, ни коровьей вины не доказали, мной изучается вопрос о привлечении к ответственности (гражданской, административной) истинного виновника ДТП, повлекшего гибель любимицы всей птицефабрики. И о возмещении ущерба и морального вреда, причиненного коллективу молочно-товарной фермы нашей птицефабрики, а также родным и близким покойной.
Ваши предложения о добровольном возмещении ущерба или об отступном будут с пониманием рассмотрены (даже по истечению дневного срока).
С уважением и благодарностью за Доставленное чтением Вашего письма и подготовкой ответа удовольствие, внешний управляющий Н. Г. Тайманов

В истории использованны реальные персонажи и документы :)

I'm currently sitting at home with absolutely nothing to do. And I can't even eat properly. I got my wisdom teeth pulled today. So I can't work for a few days (which is my life!!!) and I'm off solid foods for a week!!! So that's my update. The worst part is that I'm going to like 2 parties this weekend and I won't be able to eat anything!!! it's horrible. I'm gonna go play some video game to blow off steam.

Wow. haven't updated in a while!!! but spring break is coming up so i gotta say something, right?

I have an awesome trip coming up. i'm going to the Choi Kwang Do 20th Anniversary seminar in Atlanta, GA. it's a weeklong thing and there's lots of stuff going on. First of all, i'm going to be testing for my 2nd degree black belt. That's a two hour test. then, the Demonstration Team from our school is going to perform at the demo team exhibition. then, if we get selected by the judges, we get to perform at the main seminar event. also, we get to train with Grandmaster Choi (an incredible opportunity). then, the rest of the week is just training sessions every day, with social activities at nite. the first nite is the trip to the Atlanta Aquarium (the biggest aquarium in the world). i'm really excited abotu this trip. i'm going to videotape the demo team performance. keep checking for a link. i'll put it up on youtube.

Ok, i know everybody is probably tired of my emoness and my problems over one person that have been going on for the past 7 months...but it just can't help it. once again, i am in that place where i'm torn between the desire to bang my head against the wall and the desire to go and kill somebody in a very very brutal and painful way. perhaps something along the lines of scenes from sin city. AAAARGH!!! this is just sooo irritating. i with that people would just make up their fucking mind about things. then i won't have to deal with their friends talking to me online and threatening to "kick my ass". that is soooo useless. if u want to hurt me for one reason or another, don't just piss me off by telling me how much you want to do it. instead come over and try to do it. i'll even let u sneak up on me. just don't waste my time and energy by talking to me about how much u think u can hurt me because the truth is...u'r too fucking scared to come out and actually try to do all that to me. meanwhile, i don't care if u think i'm too old to love somebody or not. they're my feelings, and that person is old enough to decide for herself what she wants. and if u really cared about her, then you would be talking to her and not to me. she can talk to me herself if she has something to tell me... anyways, i think i should stop this entry now before i confuse myself by trying to be vague.

Hey, everybody!!!

The EMO cloud has lifted and I'm happy again. Well, for the most part. I'm just slightly angry now, but my progress at work has more than made up for my recent personal problems. So I just took my certification for a chief instructor...and of course I passed. Hopefully, I'll get a raise in fall (keeping my fingers crossed). Then, my boss starts talking to me. She asked me what my goals in CKD (Choi Kwang Do) were. I told her that I'm hoping to eventually own my own school. So then she tells me that she wants to have more free time for family and such (she got married just a year ago). Currently she owns the Novi CKD School (Herman CKD) and the Beverly Hills school (Beverly Hills CKD). So in about a year, she wants me to become the program director of the Beverly Hills CKD, meaning that she will still own the business and do all paperwork, but I will be teaching the majority of the classes and I will have a large pay raise. Then a year from that point, she wants to sell Beverly Hills CKD to me, making me the school owner of one of the most financially stable CKD Schools in the world!!! Beverly Hills CKD is stable because it keeps an average of 120 students year-round and all the advertising is done by the Beverly Hills Club, which is where the classes are held. This is great, if I become the owner of that business, I will be getting much more money than most people my age do. Anyways, that's all for now, I don't want to talk about the bad crap in my life in this post so until next time.

Before i even start writing, i'm gonna throw out a warning. if u don't want to hear me whine about my life, don't read this entry.

Ok, here goes. this first part is actually ok. this summer hasn't been too exciting. since that canada trip (which was amazingly awesome) i haven't done all that much. one ohio trip for jon's family reunion and about one "crazy" party with my cousin. that was fun cause the day after i had to call all the ppl i called the day b4 and ask what i told them. anyways, i'm really not doing anything except work at the moment. i should probably start reading the books i'm supposed to read for college, but it doesn't really matter.

Here's the whiny part, so stop reading if you're not interested. my life was going great lately. i've been hanging out with friends, going to work, getting a promotion and everything. but when i went online last night, i was definitely not expecting a certain person to hit me over the head with her ridiculous way of forgetting about the conversations we have in the past. i mean seriously, every time we talk, it's like i have to start from square one again. i don't know whether she is pretending to forget on purpose, or if she's really that careless. i mean, i am tired of having the same discussion over and over again. considering how much that particular discussion usually hurts me!!! I am really starting to get aggravated by this whole deal. I mean i understand that she needs time to herself after that dumbass zack and everything, but her arguments aren't making any fucking sence!!!!!!!! if what she said about me was true, then i don't see why we can't just skip the whole "time to herself" part and go out. i don't know what's going on anymore.

Anyways, i'm done for now. this is probably not the last u'll hear of this business. later.

This is ridiculous. i have absolutely nothing to do!!! Jon has been pissy lately so he's being weird and doesn't do anything besides working out and complaining. Nobody else is answering the phone. and at the base of all problems there's the whole deal with Rachel. I really wish this could be easier. I mean, is it too much to ask from her to break up with her boyfriend Zack??? We were supposed to be going out. This summer was supposed to be happy!!!!! I know i sound really ridiculous right now, but i don't care. So yeah, that's all i have for now. i'm sure i'll complain more in a few days so this is a "To be continued..."

Here are the instructions to this:
1. Grab the book closest to you (no cheating)
2. Open it to page 123 (if the book is less than 123 pages, find the next closest book that has enough pages)
3. Find the third sentence on that page.
4. Post in underneath the instructions in your blog.

"There are two ways to create a new template document in Dreamweaver."

Hey everybody. I know i haven't been writing in a while, but my life was pretty full of events. so here goes...

First of all, i promise this entry is gonna be much happier than my previous one.

so anyways, the summer has started!!! AND I"M DONE WITH SCHOOL!!!!! next - college!!!! I already had my orientation and my college campus is pretty spiffy. but anyways, Today i'm leaving for CANADA!!!!! it is one of my favourite places in the world because some of my best friends live there!!! (i'm not just saying this because they read my LJ) Unfortunately i have to work monday afternoon so we're coming back then. in other news - I GOT MY CAR!!!!! She does not have a name yet, so i'm open for suggestions. Meanwhile, life is going on and people seem to be back in michigan for now, so i won't be bored after canada. Lorah is back from her trip to FL. and she's back with some tanlines ;-). anyways, I don't think Dana's going anywhere yet, so that should be fun as well. And i can't wait for Mary to get back from Chicago cause i haven't seen her in forever. Finally, now that i have my car i get to see Ashley again. OMFG, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT HAS BEEN THREE YEARS SINCE I'VE SEEN HER IN PERSON. I think that's it for now. I'll see y'all later.

P.S.
Emily needs to lose her BF soon too.
Then, life will be beautiful.

I swear i am sooooo pissed i don't know whether i'll break something valuable of mine, or kill somebody. Some ppl just need to grow up and stop being a self-centered sphere of extremely potent emo-energy. This is fucking ridiculous. Billy is still being a fucking retard and it's just stupid. I mean first of all, it's been like two months since everything happened. Also, i know that what i did was wrong and i apologized to him a million times. BTW, she didn't break up with him because of me, she broke up with him because of their own problems!!! He is still saying that i'm his "ARCH-ENEMY" and he refuses to talk to me. I mean, whether he likes it or not, we have common friends, who by the way have enough problems of their own, without him dumping this emo crap on everybody!!! I mean he won't come closer that 5 yards to me. it's crazy. For example, today i was standing there after school talking to Kate, Allea, and Elliot. As we're talking he's walking down the hall behind me, so i don't see him. He stopped like 10 yards away from me and just stood there. Allea (not the brightest bulb in the bunch) goes: "What's up? Walk faster, come on!!!" Then, Kate, who realizes what's happened just goes: "Dude" to allea and points to me. I turn, see him and go: "Fuck this" and just walk home kicking the school door open. I was soooo mad. This is the most retarded thing. I mean he's all like: "OOOH, she was the love of my life, i wanted her to be the one!!!" I mean seriously: "Dude, u'r a fucking sophomore in a fucking high school, i don't think she was the love of ur life." Whoosh, that feels a hell of a lot better. TTYL. Bye.

Although my weekend was a blast, right now many many many things are aggravating me.

First things first, there's a dumbass on MySpace that created an account and claims to be me. His/her nickname is "george". This guy is the stupidest person EVER. He can't even spell my name right. So if any of you guys get an offensive message from a "george" claiming to be me, ignore it. I found out about this idiot because he/she was sending offensive messages to Ashley, my ex-GF. She was talking about him/her in her last LJ entry. I already sent "george" an angry letter and i hope he will stop. If he doesn't, it's his health.

To add to all this, my mother decided to freak out on me last nite. She is always questioning me, like i'm trying to always get away with stuff. Like on Sunday, she was calling me every f***ing half hour just to see if i was doing homework or not. And when she called me during the time that i actually was reading my physics book, the dialog went something like this:

Her: What r u doing?
Me: Reading physics.
Her: No, u'r not!
Me: What am i doing then, if u'r psychic?
Her: I can tell u'r sitting in the kitchen watching TV.

I was soooo pissed off!!!. OMG. Anyway, that's enough ranting for today. Other than that, my life is going ok. I've just got a date to PROM last nite and i'm very happy. I seriously can't wait to be done with school. It will be such a relief. Not to mention, i'll have more money. I'm done. Bye all.

WARNING: THIS IS GOING TO BE A RANT, SO AVOID IF YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT.

I am really mad at about two people right now. I'm sure there are more people for me to be mad at right now, but as i don't know who told shit about me, i'm not gonna jump to conclusions. Ashley posted a totally BS entry about me last night. For those of you who don't read her LJ, her username is kaoriko and she is my ex-girlfriend. The other person i'm mad at is Rachel, another ex-girlfriend, she responded to Ashley's entry. Anyway, it was actually really nice to see what their opinion of me was after trying for the past month to be nice to ashley and be friends with her. I don't know how many times i have told her that i might not be her BF anymore, but i still care about her and that i was really sorry for all that i've done. I have had the same argument with her over and over about how if we are to remain friends, that she would have to meet me halfway. And now she goes and writes about how much of a manwhore i am. i mean, WTF??? I mean that nickname isn't all that valid. Yes, i tend to do stupid things, but i haven't done nearly enough of "those things" to be considered a manwhore. Contrary to that apparent popular opinion, i haven't had as many girlfriends as people think. And what pissed me off the most, was when rachel said in her comment that i really am a manwhore. I mean, she shouldn't talk about that. She's had more boyfriends than i've had friends. I mean, that's just stupid. THEY ARE SOOOOO STUPID!!!!!!!!! And, ashley, if u'r reading this, THE EMO HAS TO STOP!!!!! EVERYBODY'S SICK OF IT. It was a high school relationship, and it's over. So get over it, get on with your life. And once again i'm glad to find out how much you're trying to be my friend again. So i guess that's out of the question now, isn't it??? ok, i think i'm done ranting for today. I have racquetball next hour, so whoever's playing against me should watch out. LOL.

Hello, all.

Well, lots of stuff happening lately. May friends lost over stupid stuff. Great new people met. One of my good friends is not talking to me anymore because i'm going out with his exgirlfriend. But u know, i think he's taking it too seriously. They went out for only like three weeks. And because of that, other people at my school don't appreciate me that much either. They apparently care about him more. I am really fed up with everybody being really aggravated lately. Some of their anger is definitely rubbing off on me because normally i'm not easily annoyed. Right now, i hate most of my friends at school. I want this all to be over. I don't see how i could make them not do it anymore. It seems like the only way i would get them to be normal again is to break up with rachel and apologize to Billy. I was going to apologize to him anyway, but i'm not so sure about the other thing. It's ridiculous. I hate all the stress. It's definitely something i don't need right now, what with all the other stuff i need to do. I have to deal with homework from my three AP classes, i have to successfully get into college, apply for scholarships, etc.

Winter break just started for me and that's a good thing. Right now, my best friend, Jon, is in LA for a gymnastics competition, so i can't talk to him much. But once he gets back, we're going up north for a couple days to snowboard. It's gonna be awesome. i hope things settle b4 school starts again. That's all for now. See y'all later.

Hello, all,

Very eventful week. Good things and bad things as well. first of all, i met a bunch of ppl recently. Among them, rachel and nikki. rachel is currently the GF of one of my friends, Mike (aka Billy). Nikki is her friend. She's pretty cool. rachel is just the most amazing person ever. She is really cool. However, she is planning to break up with Mike. Then, i broke up with my girlfriend this week. That was a very emotional thing. Did not enjoy that process at all. But i think we're both better off this way. Even though she may think otherwise right now, it was better for me to break up with her now, rather than hurt her much more later by accidentally (or not) cheating on her. Anyway, everybody is getting better now, so that's ok. now, nikki, is rachel's friend, whom i was interested in. However, now that i know she didn't want a relationship with me and we were just fooling around, i'm not. Now, i'm waiting for the end of the conflict between mike and rachel.

Then, i lost a couple of "friends" this week. They were two girls. They were basically talking shit about Mike's GF - rachel. And mike found out, so they got mad at me and started talking shit about me. Anyway, not a big loss there. More good news, my other friend Mike is getting out of the hospital on monday and we get to see him again, that's assuming we have the same lunch. That's all for now. Or rather, that's all i can say for now, without getting ppl mad at me.

J. Out.

Alright. Lots of stuff to cover this time. very exciting Christmas break. Or rather Holiday break to be politically correct. Went to Canadia for Christmas to hang with the Russian people. Lots of fun. Three days of poker, jokes, and other things. i do have pictures. i'll put them up as soon as i have enough time to do it at home. I was hoping to go snowboarding while there, but i'm not that lucky and it rained. so we stayed home and played more poker. it was fun. I really miss them already. and i'm not saying this just because they read this.

When i got back, hung out at Great Lakes Crossing with jon, jojo, and ash. got myself a "U SUCK" belt buckle and wasted some money on a pretty offensive movie. But it was fun cause i got to see people from Jon's school. Everybody knows him, even if he doesn't know them. There was a pack of girls that started screaming his name in the movie theatre. i swear if given the liberty, they'd throw their panties at him. That's another attraction of Great Lakes Crossing: jon's fanclub.

New Year's at my cousin's was OK. actually, compared to the usual it went pretty good. As usual i got prety cheap gifts, and amazingly enough my youngest cousin didn't complain about hers. I guess people do grow up even if they've been determined a lost cause. we watched American Pie: Band Camp. it was OK compared to the first three. The first ones were good but they went a bit overboard with this one. so much bad acting, but that's not the point of the movie so i'm not complaining. BTW, got a black 60GB iPod Video for Christmas. so i'm really happy.

Right now, i'm in my Business Law class, not studying for the final. I don't really see the point. The teacher said that we didn't cover all the info he wanted to over the semester, but that he was gonna put all of it on the final anyway. So i sort of stopped caring about that. He's always been slightly evil. Right now, i'm more concerned with my mother's obsession meter. It looks like it's about to explode. She is on my back night after night making me study for the finals. I'm really glad for my aunt's B-day tonight cause that means that i will get to relax after work. half of my AP physics class totally bombed the Quarter test today. now about 50% of the class need a 35% curve just to get an A-. The day didn't get much better after physics, i had the written and speaking part of my Spanish final. the speaking went well but the writing was a bit challenging. paying attention in psych during 5th hour was remarkably difficult. That room puts a normal person to sleep because it's so warm. and me with my 6 hours of sleep over the past three days did not help. it was funny though, cause one kid in my class who is a total druggie came back from lunch high and was dosing off just like me. except his eyes were totally bloodshot. everybody except the teacher knew. anyway, i g2g cause my music video is almost done downloading. TTYL.

Alright, last time i was interrupted so now i'll finish.

Once again, Thanksgiving break.

On Wednesday, went to Jon's house right after work. Spent half the night playing PS2 with Jon and after he fell asleep, i watched "40 days and 40 nights". It's friggin hillarious. Anyway, the next morning woke up surprisingly easily and wrestled with jon over who gets the PS2 controller. Then his dad gave me a ride home.

Thanksgiving day - interesting. My cousins came over, not the cool ones. So after dinner, instead of watching them demolish my room, we went bowling. I got really close to a hundred points (my third time ever) but didn't break it. Anyway, that was fun and expensive. Came home and went to lay on my bed while my cousin had a row with his mother. Very annoying, both of them. Anyway, then hung out in my room just talking. After they left, my other aunt and uncle came back (they hate the other ones). And we had thaksgiving all over again except this time with more alcohol. went to bed at about 2:00 am after laughing hysterically at Conan O'Brian.

friday, a glorious day all the way through. Went to Ashley's house at 6:00. Ended up being the first one there. Then Jojo showed up and the three of us sang the whole Evanescence CD. That was interesting. Then jon showed up along with the pizza delivery. He was first depressed but then we got to talking about sharp throwable objects and he got happy. Ate pizza and went into the hot tub. That was awesome because we made each other do stupid stuff in the snow. Ended with me and ashley slipping on the steps and cutting our feet on the top one. After we went in, we started watching the 10th Kingdom, the best movie of all time equaled in gloriousness only by the Matrix. Anyway, so we got through the first 3.5 hours of the movie and started falling asleep. Meanwhile, people did things for the first time in their lives.

Saturday, homework.

Sunday, snowboarding plans were foiled by the stupid rain and i ended up just hanging out at jon's and eating dinner with his family. Still it was fun. That's my break. See y'all l8er. bye's

Well, here is my weekend.

jojo's weekend was definitely much more fun. Anyway, i was at the International Choi Kwang Do Seminar the entire saturday and half of sunday. but now i'll go in order.

Friday - lots of fun. After school went to work, having had a snack with no interruptions finally. My aunt and uncle are gone, joy joy joy. and my cousin finally moved to her apartment. Actually i sorta miss her. She's cool. anyway, after work went to Beauty and the Beast right away. Dittu's voice is absolutely amazing. If i was emily, i'd say: "I want to have that voice's baby!!!" Anyway, the musical was absolutely awesome. After that, rushed over to Jon's. There, watched him play God of War, laughed at his incompetence as well. Helped him just a bit. Anyway, when he finally died, me, him and his friend Jake, who's absolutely glorious, went to see HP4, that everybody is raving about. I do not understand why everybody loved the movie so much. I seriously want to shoot the directors in the foot. I don't know how J.K.Rowling could have allowed such atrocities to be done to her glorious book. After watching the movie i was torn between the desire to burn down the theatre and the desire to strangle myself. I mean, i can see why everybody loved it. Oh my god, the actors are so great and the special effects are amazing. But i never said that they were bad. I love the actors and i love the special efects, but do not butcher up the story that much. I mean, not a single creature in the maze??? WHAT IS THAT????? anyway, i was really looking forward to the sphinx. Not to mention they didn't properly question Barty Crouch JR. The whole effect of the book was that you don't know who the hell is doing all the bad things until the very end. Ok, now that i let myself rant, i can describe the more enjoyable parts of the weekend. Jake is simply an amazing person. Him and myself were making fun of HP the whole movie. We're really lucky we went at midnight, otherwise we'd be kicked out in a minute. The few people that were there were ready to kill us by the end of the movie. When they showed Ron's dress robes, Jake yelled: "I'm getting that for prom!" After that i started laughing hysterically, and the couple nearby gave us the I'm-gonna-kill-you-in-the-most-painful-way-possible look. still, it was hillarious.

Ok, enough HP stories. Congratulate me!!! I got accepted to U of M Dearborn. I am now trying to get into their HONORS program because my mom thinks i should. i was a little bummed out when U of M lost the game on Saturday tho. It's just my bad luck i guess. anyway, the whole saturday i was at the before mentioned seminar which was glorious but a bit hazy since i only had like 4 hours of sleep. so the whole way to the seminar, which was at Milan Middle School (about an hour away from my house) i was sleeping while my mom kept elbowing me in the ribs going: "Read the stupid directions. I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO GO!!!". So yeah, fun time. But then, at the seminar five demo teams performed, including our glorious Austin Choi Kwang Do team. We were last, and best. Although, the Georgia team was very good too. They did back flips. since we were watching the other performances before ours, Stefanie, my partner for the close range routine, decided to spice things up a bit. Instead of doing the boring hip throw when she attacked me with a bat, i would block the bat, pull her in, elbow in the face; then she gets mad, throws the bat down and reverse knife-hand strikes me in the face. Meanwhile, i dodge it and throw her over my shoulder. It turned out really good. You might say it was glorious. (I'll explain all the "glorious" usage over the phone) Then we had a routine where i got to do 3 back handsprings in a row. the crowd went crazy. I loved our performance. we haven't had one in about six months, so i forgot the adrenaline rush feeling of getting out in front of a crowd of people and performing to music. It was a glorious feeling. Anyway, enough about that. Later that night, the adult training. BOOOORING. Grandmaster Choi is very cool, but when he starts talking, he can go on for an hour. The problem with that is that he is Korean and has a really strong accent so i can't understand half of it. Now listening to a Korean man talk about the same thing for over an hour in barely understandable English is quite a tast after not getting more than 4 hours of sleep every day for a week. i barely survived. Later that night, the seminar banquet. Glorious beyond belief, although i was ignored by some people. oh well, life goes on. the banquet was especially delicious because i've had a performance and a 4-hour training session and haven't eaten anything since breakfast. The DJ was really corny. we had the banquet at the Holiday Inn in Ann Arbor. Anyway, since there were little kids present, they made us do the chicken dance and the hokey pokey, which brough back the fun memories of my boss's wedding, considering the fact that she was dancing next to me again. Then, the DJ decided to start a game of limbo, probably just so he could laugh at us. I was really amazed at my boss, who is about 5 inches shorter than me. she stayed in until the last round. the only other ones who stayed in were the four year olds that didn't have to bend at all to go under the bar. Anyway, my boss limboed under the bar that was about 2.5 feet away from the ground. it was amazingly GLORIOUS!!!

Sunday - two more hours listening to Grandmaster Choi mumbling about how great CKD was to a bunch of blackbelts and instructors who have been doing this for at least three years and know how great it is. Anyway, rest of the day, doing homework. I gotta go home now. TTYL

Hello all, or should i say, Hello Jojo since you're probably the only one who reads this one. Anyway, just mentioning stuff that joanne didn't and some of my more personal concerns. ANyway, i'm really sick of my aunt being on my computer about 24 hours a day. She is so annoying. it's not good for my computer. i paid (or will pay) $1600 for it. I do not want it to crash because somebody is looking at stupid drug articles all day long. So stupid. Anyway, last weekend was a blast. I had my blackbelt test and got my new stripe - green. THen, mary's party. Very awesome, Axe cans exploding, people running on roofs and breaking them. Finally, running around the hill trying to scare people.

Sunday - fun fun fun. Demo team practice: totally awesome close range routine coming up. I get to flip stefanie over on her back. It's going to be so much fun, unless she makes me fall on my back again. that was actually my fault. anyway, very awesome weekend.

Monday sucked. I saw people i definitely didn't want to see. Or rather people i did want to see but shouldn't have. I am so very confused with things right now. This is the most aweful thing taht could have happened to me right now. I have more than enough stress from school, parents, stupid aunts and colleges to worry about this too. (Not to mention that there are some stupid people whose potential bad habits i have to worry about *hint**hint*) Still, it's there and i can't do anything about it except try my best to ignore it. But at the same time i can't ignore the situation because i am faced with it every single day and it is worse than torture. Anyway, i've said too much already. Fun times. Talk to y'all later.
Malkin-Out

Hey Everybody!

So my low opinion of our school system was dissolved by the awesomeness that was this weekend. Pardon me for attempting old english. Anyway, the whole week i was complaining that the school should let us have school on friday and not have school on Monday - Halloween.

So anyway. On friday i had lots of fun. I found out that Jon and I are going to get paid $50 each for the hour-long power rangers gig. Anyway, then i spent a wonderful day of playing PS2 instead of doing HW. Then, in the evening me, jon and Jojo went to Jon's uncle's halloween party which was marvelous. Everybody had crazy costumes, especially jon's dad. He's really good at face painting. Although, when me and jojo showed up at jon's he was wearing nothing but boxers. the party ended with jon jumping straight up wearing his dad's riding leathers. Now, for those of u who don't know about that kind of thing, the leathers are made so that you are crouching down so if you stand up straight they're pretty tight in the crotch. So he squashed himself pretty good. Anyway, then we hung out at his house till about twelve. jojo had her very first sip of alcohol which was pretty exciting. Anyway, then we sorta freaked her out cause we were watching nightmare of elm street. she almost got in trouble for getting home at 1:30 at night. but everything turned out well and she went with us to the movies on saturday.

Now, on saturday, we saw "Saw II" at Star Southfield, which is an awful, awful place. there are security guards everywhere and they're very uptight with giving up R-rated tickets. So Jojo's mom had to get them. Anyway, the movie was absolutely excelent and jojo was scared half to death. But it was really bloody and unexpected just like the first one. Even more bloody actually. it even made me a bit quirky at one part. i spent that night at jon's house and we had a great time playing PS2 and watching Viva La Bam. God, they're stupid. Then, i was a bit pissed off at jon for beating me at Soul Calibur II so much. Still, it was fun.

Sunday, we woke up around 10:30. After a swift breakfast of bacon, we resumed kicking each other's asses @ Soul Calibur II. Then, jon had an epiphany (epiphamy?) Neither of us had a slight idea of what to do and how to act when we dress up as Power Rangers during the 4-year old's party. i wanted to work out a routine the night b4 but jon was negative so the best thing to do was to let him realize that we need to do it on his own. so, we worked on a routine till we had to go. Of course we screwed it up but the kids were really small so they bought it. Then we did some more gymnastics tricks for them and they were absolutely amazed. then, we had some cake and weird-tasting ice cream and left. We ended up getting paid $80 each for the 45 minutes. It was awesome.

Next, we went to Amy's party. It was grrrreat. (sorry about that) there was pool in the basement and throwing things at each other upstairs. anyway lots of fun. For like the last hour, me and Kevin (Amy's BF) were in the basement playing pool and talking. Ashley and Amy made a really big deal out of it for some reason. They were like "Oh my god, our BF's are like bonding and stuff" well, he's a really cool kid.

then, we dropped jon off at his house and scared his sister who was watching TV. then i went home and talked to jojo on the phone. Overall, i would rate this weekend at about 8.9/10. It was awesome. Talk to you all later. Yaaaaay!!!!. Jenya - out.